Second Wind

Photo by HC Merkle

(A confession. This would be a long read. :)

"The highest reward for a person's toil
is not what they get for it,
but what they become by it."
- John Ruskin

I have a job that pays the bills, one that is a joy to do. Communications and Advertising is my first passion. I have webdesigning that makes me feel good as it serves as my digital creative outlet (and honestly gets to pay all my bills too once in a while). Webwork, my second passion. Between the two, I hardly have the time to do anything else but try to conceive a child (my heart's desire). But Passion One is currently on slow mode due to some unpleasant encounter I recently had. It left a major dent in our finances that scared me but failed to paralyze me. With some extra time on my hands I decide to pursue Passion Three.

"Problems are only opportunities
dressed in work clothes."
- Henry Kaiser

Second wind. I was redefining me all over again, professionally. I wasn't entirely leaving the career I have established for myself for the last 3 decades which I extremely enjoy. I again just merely added another "pursuit" that is in itself another "joy."

Passion. That is what fuels me more than money. I always tried to "coach" college students to follow their passions. Passion would make "work" a joy and anything that is a joy to do would be something that you can "grow" with. Money follows those who excel in what they do. People who enjoy what they do get easily noticed for their excellence. I always believed money should be the "gravy" not the target. Joy should be the target. It was in enjoying what I did that I got noticed and in excelling in my field that the money came.

"You've got to get to the stage in life
where going for it is more important
than winning or losing."
- Arthur Ashe

I have been asked countless of times in career talks I have given to high school students if I was ever afraid that the money wouldn't come. Yes. I was constantly afraid (although it was reassuring to note that my parents always told me that they will always be there for me if I will ever need them). I was afraid I will not earn as much as I can spend (LOL! I wanted to buy everything I can with my money then! ). I was afraid I will not even land me a decent job that would make my folks proud of me. All my college buddies were landing great jobs and here I was on top of my class not getting the jobs I wanted!

"It isn't what you have, or who you are,
or where you are, or what you are doing
that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about."
- Dale Carnegie

But I decided to just follow my passion - to trust it. I will NOT work I told myself. I will enjoy what I do for a living. I will have a "passion" and NOT a job. I don't want to be tied to a 9 to 5 job that would leave me empty and would make it difficult for me to get out of bed every morning. One that would make me look forward to weekends and holidays. One that I would love to hate. I wanted a job that would be a part of ME and be extremely good at it that the money would follow. And guess what --- I never "worked" my entire life. Never held a "job" and became financially independent ahead of all my peers.

"Courage is never to let your actions
be influenced by your fears."
- Arthur Koestler

I got my fears. HUGE ones. But I recognize them for what they are- fears NOT blocks. Fear would stop you so you consider options. It shouldn't paralyze you not to move or to keep pursuing. It is there to test you how much you want something. No fear had ever held me down yet (Ok. Im not a superwoman. I have one big fear that paralyses me but it isn't professionally but personally. Im afraid of being barren and not being able to give my husband even a child but that's another post for another time).

"Happiness is an attitude of mind,
born of the simple determination
to be happy under all outward circumstances."
- J. Donald Walters

So there I was, primary passion on slow mode, second passion on a regular undemanding pace and a third passion about to be born. I was determined to give it a go. I wanted to see how far this third passion of mine can take me. That was last Saturday– March 25, my maiden debut as a major/only speaker cum lecturer in a Scrap(booking) Meet among those whose passion for the craft are high if not at par with (but have serious doubt would ever exceed) mine.

I have spoken before in bigger events but not as the only lecturer. Topics then were basic. This event marketed itself as "advanced techniques." Would they accept a relatively unknown person teaching them about the craft? Would the major stores support an unknown just by looking at her work? Would the tickets priced quite expensively (never was a scrapbooking activity ticket ever priced that high) sell out? Would I end up shelling my own money because the event bombed?

"The very least you can do in your life
is to figure out what you hope for.
And the most you can do is live inside that hope.
Not admire it from a distance
but live right in it, under its roof."
- Barbara Kingsolver

Was I afraid? Damn, yes! I was scared sh*tless! I had sleepless nights and ulcer attacks due to stress. Fear has a way of paralyzing you. But it also has a way of making you think clearly too. The more I got scared, the more I planned. The more problem-scenarios I saw, the more I planned my options. I was working 18 to 20 hours a day for the last two weeks preparing workshop materials, lecture notes, the works. I was as passionate about the craft as I was about teaching it. I wanted those attending to learn and love what they have chosen to do.

Four days after releasing the tickets, half were sold immediately. In about a week of selling, I was down to holding 5 tickets. Three days before the event, tickets were sold out with more people asking for more (I simply don't want to handle any handson activity for more than 25 pax. I wont be able to supervise all so I chose NOT to be greedy and told people to join the next one soon). My third passion wasn't about earning. It was about discovering how far it can take me.

"The art of teaching
is the art of assisting discovery."
- Mark van Doren

It turned out great. No. Fantastic. I earned something decent, got invitations to conduct for smaller groups, got offers to study/endorse products from suppliers and made new friends --- fantastic people who are passionate about the craft too.

"We are told that talent
creates its own opportunities.
But it sometimes seems that intense desire
creates not only its own opportunities,
but its own talents."
- Eric Hoffer

Now I have three --- three passions that translated into something I can earn from. One mentor said that it is possible to go P-to-P (translating ones Passion into something for the Pocket as in money) if you have the heart and faith for it. She believed I have both with two passions tucked under my belt already. She reminded me adding another one and another and another would simply be a breeze --- a calling, she said. I proved her right.

Second wind? I'm looking forward to my third or my fourth. Wherever my passions takes me. I'm listening.

RG


PS: Giving birth to my third passion is the reason why I have not posted for the last 25 days. Im so sorry. I promise to be right on track again soon. Will do my blog catch-up readings within the week. I missed you guys and I thank you for including me in your prayers. Apologies to my friends who have sent email, posted at my chatterbox, sent SMS wondering where I was or what Im up to. Im truly, truly sorry. *hugs to you all*